Happy Birthday, Chuck Norris!

Xeni Jardin at 3:02 PM March 10, 2010

"America is not a democracy. It's a Chuck-tatorship. (...) We'd go down the line and he'd say, 'He's honest. He's honest. He's corrupted.' And I'd walk up to him and I'd say, 'You're fired." If he didn't move immediately, I would choke him unconscious and lay him over to the side there."— Mr. Chuck Norris, who, as Rachel Maddow reminds us, turns 70 today.

31 Comments Add a comment

kevinsky #1 15:28 on Wed, Mar.10 Reply

Chuck Norris is not nearly awesome enough to deserve all the internet adulation he gets with these chuck norris "Facts".

Here's a Chuck Norris fact for you: Chuck Norris thinks that your children should be taught his religion in science classes! Let's not give him a fatter head.

The man writes a column for World Nut Daily, for crying out loud!

bassplayinben #2 15:32 on Wed, Mar.10 Reply

Chuck Norris is bored by endless stream of un-funny Chuck Norris jokes on the internet.

Antinous / Moderator #3 15:34 on Wed, Mar.10 Reply

My favorite CN tribute: NSFW lyrics

Antinous / Moderator #4 15:36 on Wed, Mar.10 Reply

My favorite CN joke:

Chuck Norris makes Godot wait for him.

Falcon_Seven #5 15:37 on Wed, Mar.10 Reply

Oh Chuck Norris, is there anything that you can't do?

pg34 #6 15:38 on Wed, Mar.10 Reply

One step closer to death for Norris. Maybe when he dies, all those retarded and overdone jokes will die with him. One can hope, I suppose.

Anon #7 15:58 on Wed, Mar.10 Reply

here's chuck norris telling people that the bible should be used as a textbook in public schools.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlaWbCbZhAA

not cool.

flosofl replied to comment from pg34 #8 16:03 on Wed, Mar.10 Reply

So... you're actively hoping for someone's death simply because you don't like the jokes some people made about him.

Personally I just don't care about the jokes one way or the other, but some people derive enjoyment. Maybe I'll have to check them again, for obviously I've missed something so offensive about them they cause people like you to cheer the fact his birthday means he's closer to death.

kevinsky replied to comment from flosofl #9 16:10 on Wed, Mar.10 Reply

They're not offensive, they're tiresome. Like people posting FIRST on a forum.

No, scratch that, they ARE offensive. They're offensive because people get so wound up in an internet meme that they don't realize that they're promoting a man who already uses his celebrity to promote state-sponsored religion. THAT's offensive

BadIdeaSociety #10 16:10 on Wed, Mar.10 Reply

I don't wish to see Chuck Norris dead, but I'd love to see the Chuck Norris jokes die.

To be honest, I have not hear one of those jokes since 2006. Boing Boing decided to, following in the Biblical tradition, resurrect them.

efergus3 #11 16:17 on Wed, Mar.10 Reply
efergus3 #12 16:20 on Wed, Mar.10 Reply

Is a funny Site - here's one for Shatner. http://www.shatnerology.com/

efergus3 #13 16:31 on Wed, Mar.10 Reply

And via Cinematical: http://shatnerstoupee.blogspot.com/ What's the use of having heroes if you can't make fun of them?
P.S. Fish STILL isn't dead! http://www.abevigoda.com/

Anon #14 16:43 on Wed, Mar.10 Reply

I have the same birthday as Chuck Norris

WOO

TheRev #15 18:34 on Wed, Mar.10 Reply

I knew I shared a birthday with Chuck Norris, that's pretty cool. But us March 10th'ers also share a B-day with Sharon Stone, Neheh Cherry, James Earl Ray and Osama Bin Laden.

SFedor #16 18:58 on Wed, Mar.10 Reply

I thought Chuck had been killed and converted to double energy robot blood?

http://axecop.com/index.php/acask/read/ask_axe_cop_12/

demidan #17 19:58 on Wed, Mar.10 Reply

"If he didn't move immediately; I would choke him unconscious and lay him over to the side there and hopefully I wouldn't brake a hip."

Daemon #18 21:20 on Wed, Mar.10 Reply

I could care less either way about Chuck, even if he is a religious nutbar.
The meme, however, deserves death.

Santos #19 21:25 on Wed, Mar.10 Reply

He was pretty level headed as a teacher. Shame.

Anon #20 06:21 on Thu, Mar.11 Reply

#1: the man is obviously an imbecile, but Internet memes transcend their subject and its objective value and meaning. Chuck's idiocy should only moderately spoil your enjoyment of The Facts.

IronEdithKidd replied to comment from efergus3 #21 06:21 on Thu, Mar.11 Reply

Thanks for the Shatner links! The toupee tribute site is pure gold.

Chuck Norris is a very old man with a very old meme. It doesn't surprise me that in his golden years he has found some flavor of God. What disappoints is his apparent need to round-house kick his religion into the heads of everyone that isn't Chuck Norris.

GrymRpr #22 06:28 on Thu, Mar.11 Reply

Norris, Still to this day fear's Zombie Bruce Lee!

Shame Tho... To Many head shots and to much time out in the Texas sun has effected his mind.

Felton replied to comment from GrymRpr #23 07:25 on Thu, Mar.11 Reply

Zombie Bruce Lee!

Heh! Hard to shoot him in the head when he can catch the bullets with his teeth!

As for Chuck Norris, I used to love the guy, back in the 80's when I watched any and all martial arts movies I could get my hands on. I'm not sure when he traded in his black belt for a bible belt.

attrition #24 09:25 on Thu, Mar.11 Reply

Fun easter egg in AIM Express: if you set your status to "/chuck" (sans quotes), it will set your status message to a random Chuck Norris fact.

http://aimexpress.com

Anon #25 10:10 on Thu, Mar.11 Reply

yay I love bruce lee more. zombie bruce lee jokes against chuck jokes = win! thanks GrymRpr

Chris Tucker #26 10:52 on Thu, Mar.11 Reply

Steve Ditko. Chuck Norris. Objectivism. All in one comic book.

You can really feel the crazy leaking from every panel.

Be careful, or you'll get the crazy & stupid ALL over yourself.

snakedart #27 13:22 on Thu, Mar.11 Reply

Mr. Norris lost all credibility as a hardass when Mr. Lee tore out his chest hair in Way of the Dragon. Might as well have torn out his manly bits, as far as I'm concerned.

graphicsman replied to comment from pg34 #28 13:25 on Thu, Mar.11 Reply

"One step closer to death for Norris"...
Don't you mean Death is one step closer to Chuck Norris

LMAO

Anon replied to comment from Falcon_Seven #29 16:08 on Thu, Mar.11 Reply

He cant be toilet paper.
As he doesnt take shit from anyone.

Anon #30 13:31 on Fri, Mar.12 Reply

People mad at Chuck Norris Jokes need to get out and find something important to worry about.

princeminski replied to comment from Antinous / Moderator #31 09:58 on Tue, Mar.16 Reply

That *is* a good one. Far more amusing than most of 'em.

princeminski replied to comment from flosofl #32 10:02 on Tue, Mar.16 Reply

Yeah, I disagree with the guy about pretty much everything, but for Christ's sake!! At *worst* he's an entertainer with a couple annoying beliefs. Wishing people dead, even in cowardly Internet posts, is a slippery slope to someplace you probably shouldn't want to go.

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